Saturday, February 13, 2010

A New Arrow in an Old Heart

I think I should lay off the blog sermons.

Today's topic will be (Nosmo reaches in the hat and withdraws a bright, white piece of paper), 'relationships'. That's right, love doctor Nosmo is going to spice up your love life.

First, I would like to admit that I don't often practice what I preach (I'm too busy blogging). But I was thinking the other day about male 'lack-of-sensitivity' and female 'frigidity' in a long term relationship and I think I have a solution that doesn't require a membership to Ashely Madison Dot Com.

What is the solution? I want you to think about this. Toss it around in your brain like a Caesar salad for a while before you make your mind up and throw in the croutons.

The key to a successful relationship hinges on two major factors:

Honesty: Yeah, I heard that one a million times, Nosmo. My man wouldn't be honest with me for anything. Honesty is important. It is the foundation of communication. But it isn't the end all meets all (or however that goes).

Understanding: Here is the key. Let's say you and I are married and I tell you some secret about me that I want you to be a part of (or rather something I want us to share). Good. I'm being honest, yes? So why are you filing for divorce? Because of lack of understanding.

But what is 'understanding'? I don't understand. Yeah. Well, understanding is not just about being aware of the meaning behind words but being sensitive to the fact that they just told you something and so therefore it must be important to them. And since you love him, then the things that are important to him become important to you.

Furthermore, they are different from you. Men think different from women and women think different from men. The moment we not only understand this but embrace it, is the moment we have a successful relationship. Or at least a start.

Furthermore some more, when a man opens up and tells a woman something and she excepts it and embraces it, he becomes confident to open up some more. And when he has bared his soul to his woman and everything but his liver is lying out on the chopping block, there will suddenly be a connection of trust. Which leads to leads to a closeness that can be considered nothing less than romantic.

And guys, romance leads to you know what. But we have to step out, be brave and lay that dark, little secret thats been itching in our heads for so long.

So, we come round full circle and everyone is happy. And we make babies and have mortgages and minivans. Or maybe you'll just travel Europe together? Who knows.



  1. you forgot acceptance... they also have to accept that you really are that freaky.... honesty understanding and acceptance....

    Wait.. did I just skew the tangent?

    And you're out of beer...

  2. I think no one really is too interested in honesty. It can be quite destructive really. I think the crucial factor is empathy and kindness.

  3. Savage> I don't condone drinking and blogging. That's how mommy blog's are born. But yes acceptance. I think I mixed that in with understanding. But it's important enough to have it's own topic header. You're right.

    Laoch> Yes! You are also right. 'Wait, he's right and he is right? They can't both be right.' 'You are also right.' 'Good Sabbath.' (A little bit of Fiddler of the Roof for ya)

    Billy Joel said it the best: 'HONESTY IS SUCH A LONELY WORD.'

    I should say this relationship model is absurd. It's absurd because 99% of the time it is impossible for both people to do their part. Understanding and acceptance is a rare gem to find in a woman and honesty is a rare gem to find in a man and so the cycle of marriage and divorce continues.

    So, the best advice I could give to guys would be to be honest up front, before you get serious. But then you run the risk of telling your dark secrets to someone who may turn around and stab you in the back later. Oh well.

    And for women. Gosh. Guys are pigs and want sex and think about sex a lot. It is what it is and you can't change us. And since there are only two sexes on planet earth and you belong to one you're either going to have to accept us as sex staved perverts or go gay (which really isn't any easier, you just get different problems).

  4. A prayer for the Czar? May the Lord bless and keep the czar....far far away!
    (a bit more Fiddler on the Roof)

    Opps, I clicked the Do Not Click button...I couldn't help myself.! So THAT's why you visited my blog.

    Thanks for being a hero. Every job out there is important!!!

  5. Oh yes. Monkey's are funny! Yeah, ironic.

  6. The only thing my ex-wife cared about was sex, I mean everyday as many times as possible. She even told me to wake her in the middle of the night if I wanted to. She said she would stop whatever she was doing for it, dress anyway I liked and do anything I liked, well anything that was just the two of us. I don't know why I divorced her now.

  7. You had some good reason, I'm sure. :)