Why do I find it necessary to make excuses for my depression? Why do I need to cover up my faults? No one asked me to. No one expected it of me. I just do it. I suppose it's human nature to cover up our deformities.
I can buy that but I wonder how acute one's survival insticts are when one is suffering from depression? Downing a half gallon of vodka and 20 advil doesn't seem like a survival instict. Yet that's how I ended up in the hospital 9 years ago. My survival instict didn't kick in until after I realized what I had done.
We are a study in contradictions. And it's one thing to take your own life, it's quite another to open yourself up to whatever torture another might inflict on us.
It's like a woman looking at herself in a mirror and saying she looks fat but getting extremely upset if anyone agrees with her.
Well said. Yes. Thank you. I can hurt myself just don't hurt me. I think also in this situation I was depressed and didn't want anyone to talk me out of it. Depression can be a safe, comfortable place sometimes.
Exposing our weaknesses makes us vulnerable to those who would take advantage. It's a survival instinct.
ReplyDeleteI can buy that but I wonder how acute one's survival insticts are when one is suffering from depression? Downing a half gallon of vodka and 20 advil doesn't seem like a survival instict. Yet that's how I ended up in the hospital 9 years ago. My survival instict didn't kick in until after I realized what I had done.
ReplyDeleteWe are a study in contradictions. And it's one thing to take your own life, it's quite another to open yourself up to whatever torture another might inflict on us.
ReplyDeleteIt's like a woman looking at herself in a mirror and saying she looks fat but getting extremely upset if anyone agrees with her.
Well said. Yes. Thank you. I can hurt myself just don't hurt me.
ReplyDeleteI think also in this situation I was depressed and didn't want anyone to talk me out of it. Depression can be a safe, comfortable place sometimes.