Have you ever ridden on a roller coaster? There is always that loop when you're upside down. When you feel you stomach fall into your chest and you want to vomit. Yet at the same time you are thrilled and you get that crazy tingling sensation in your groin. Despite the fear, despite the upset stomach, you are still having the time of your life.
That's how I feel right now, fear, nausea, confusion but at the same time thrilled to be moving forward. Thrilled to be building a real life, a new life and leaving this depressing, dark, bad excuse for a life I have now far behind.
I can see the look in peoples eyes when I tell them what's going on in my life. They seem sceptical, shocked, amused. What is wrong with this world? What the hell is wrong with following your dreams, your heart. 'Well, so many people have done just that and regretted it, or found themselves in a bad place. You should be cautious and make sensible choices.'
Well, lemme tell you folks, if my life continued on the sensible path that it was on and I truly believed there was nothing out there for me, a better life, I don't think I would have had any reason to continued on with this charade! I have learned to love life again, to trust in myself and in others, to dream again.