Monday, January 4, 2010

Dreams, Roads and Bubbles of Yore

I wonder if I will wake up soon. This has to be a dream. I feel like I have been given a gift that I don't deserve. I feel like.. no wait! There is still a long road ahead of me, ahead of us. A road that will likely be one of doubt and fear, pain and confusion. I will not candy-coat it. It will not be easy. And so, perhaps, while I am journeying down said road I will find my worth, I will earn this second chance that I have been given.

It seems I am not sleeping after all. It seems that in spite of the wonder of this opportunity I am still faced with the stark reality of divorce, finding a new job, moving to a familiar yet cold and hostile land far away from sandy beaches and palm trees. No. This is not a dream. This is my life. My choice. My desire to fight and regain my life again and to follow my dreams, those I left behind so long ago. This is no dream. This is reality at it's finest.

For as long as I can remember I have been an introvert. I have survived by hiding in the bubble of my mind, my heart. I have little time left for bubbles. Life is calling me. I cannot delay. Every day from here on must count. Everyday must have a purpose. Goals must be set and reached, plans laid and hatched. I am on the road to my future, I must be prepared.

There is good at the end of this. There is a love I thought lost, opportunity to get that dream job, children, happiness, partnership with someone who loves me, a true honest-to-God future. I have to move. I have to go forward and take it. I would be a fool otherwise.


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