Tuesday, October 12, 2010


I was high on endorphins Saturday! God, was I high. I felt so good. It was like anti-depression. Every thought I had that night was positive. Not only positive but I felt like I wanted to take on the world. I had dreams of rock climbing, sky diving, spelunking, living life on the edge. I was reinventing myself in a way that would have seemed nigh-on impossible in any other mood.

Then Sunday came. My body hurt, my right thigh ached as if I had strained the muscle. It still hurts today! The high was gone and I kept making excuses for why I should just stay home and relax. You need a day off. Tomorrow you can do this or that. Then Monday came (Discoverer's Day) and I went no where. I sat on the couch and watched movies.

I began sinking again and instead of great dreams and goals I began to question my dreams, my goals, my hobbies, my life choices. I sought comfort in food and long showers. I took naps and watched old 80's movies.

Well, it's Tuesday. I have to workout this morning regardless of whether I want to or not. I have to go to work and face the world. Thank God for obligations. Without them I would be in a bad place. Maybe I can get inspired today? Maybe I can find some runner's high or get pumped up to go out with others on another adventure.



Frightening colors,
Brilliant puzzles,
Twisting, turning into wind.
Biting, nipping, freezing skin.
Frowning fox.
Dead from small pox.
Bring it in again.
Eclectic run-on sentences.
Out of the cold air.
Mending a torn tear.
Bearing the bad care.
Staring the last stare.
Step outside and face the rapids of reality.
Look out of your eyes at the harsh normalicy.
A normal reality, social fatality.
I tried my best but I can't get out of these.
I've tried to be 'you' so many times.
I can't find my rythmn, your's not mine.
Sad little fox.
Alone in your box.
Sad little monkey.
In a school of hard knocks.


1 comment:

  1. I have never felt a high like that but I've definitely had the lows. I think there's a backwash of bad feelings after every high though - while your body readjusts to the adrenalin/endorphin rush.