Thursday, February 18, 2010

Snip Fuck

The surgery is scheduled for March 24Th. That's the earliest date they could squeeze me in. The doctor told me they perform this surgery once a week.

Really? That many times? In an army hospital in Hawaii? That's a lot.

You have to take 2-3 days off to recover and then you have to take it easy for 4 to 6 weeks after. Don't lift any objects that weigh more than 10 pounds.

Don't take anything that increases blood flow, like aspirin prior to the surgery. And smoking decreases the blood flow to the small veins due to lack of oxygen so you need to cut back or quit a few weeks prior to 'knife day.'

I got lost trying to get out of the Urology Clinic. All the exit signs just led me in circles. I was losing my ability to navigate. 'They are amputating a part of my body!'

"Do I turn left or right... they are cutting off a part of my body that I have had for 34 years!"

This isn't a tumor. I could get 5 bucks for my tonsils on Craig's List. You want an appendix? I got one you can have it. I would even donate my extra kidney. I'm not really using it. But do you really have to cut my foreskin off? Really?

It's for the best. Life can be hard on your body. Especially when you're obsessed with using it.

-Nosmo (I hate hospitals!)