Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Premeditated Truth

How arrogant we are! How special we think ourselves to believe that our secrets are so unique, to feel that we bear the burden of dark thoughts alone. None are without sin, no not one.

So, if we agree that there are dark things in our minds, thoughts that we may be uncomfortable with, what should we do with them? Should we tell the world? Should we tell a friend, a loved one or a family member? Or should we keep it to ourselves? After all, what they don't know wont hurt them, right?

Maybe we think it's none of their business and that our mental secrets are ours alone? I can say from personal experience I have told some pretty big whopper secrets to someone I trust, recently. Then, I asked myself why? Why did I do that? Am I better for telling this person? I think I am. Here's why.

First, I have found a deep understanding, trust and safety in that person because of honesty and openness. We have develop a relationship that is based on the greatest aspect of communication, truth. Know the truth and it will set you free. I say, 'tell' the truth and it will set you free!

Second, because I don't feel alone with my thoughts. I also discovered this person has had similar thoughts and so now when I close my eyes at night and dream or drift through my mind I don't feel alone. That person is in there with me, understanding and experiencing it with me. I can except these thoughts as normal (at least in my circle of kinship). I can revel in that and be glad.

I am the pig who finds out he is a pig and rolls in the mud because he loves it so and has no need to feel bad about it. Because that's what pigs do!

Telling these secrets really had no logical reason other than it was an exercise in honesty.

And, boy was it!

Honesty is the best policy. Be honest from the get-go. Lay your hand down on the table and let the chips fall where they may. You may scare people off but were those people worth keeping around to begin with? I think not.




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  2. My experience when I was defending criminal cases and even after in my day to day existence has been that "telling the truth" about inculpatory things from your own life will usually get you sent to prison or destroy your relationships.

  3. I keep my dark secrets to myself. Otherwise they wouldn't be secrets.

  4. I like New Kids on the Block and have a crush on Joan Rivers!

    I have dark secrets and then I have secrets that could get me sent to a mental ward. I agree in telling the truth but you have to be able to tell just the right person.

  5. Perhaps you feel it necessary to share everything to feel close to a person - and you have found acceptance so that is good. But if it hadn't been accepted, then you might have lost that person - a very great risk - one you felt it worth taking.

    I feel closer to people that I try to share my best with them. If they need to know something more secretive then I will tell them - but more to have them understand why I am who I am when they'd rather I was different.

  6. It took me a long time to learn this one. I still keep most of it inside but it can be so helpful to open up and share....and learn.

  7. I think it is far better to air your secrets to someone you trust than to post them on some of these "secret" blogs.

  8. Loach> If I did something illegal I would likely keep it to myself. I'm not fond of the idea of telling secrets to my cell mate.
    Kim> I'm finding secrets to be cumbersome, like thick wool underwear. I just want to take them off in the worse way.
    The Savage> I was admitted to a mental ward once. It aint all that bad, they serve you meals and clean your sheets. It's great, almost better than marriage (note the sarcasm).
    Jeannie> Telling the truth is taking a gamble, you risk losing. But you'll never make it big when you play it safe. So, I guess you could live your whole life, playing it safe, with all this stuff bottled up inside or you can take a chance and let it out and be free of all your inner demons.
    MAM> Yes. I tell you a secret, you tell me one. Then we know each other that much more!
    Debbie> I hope this isn't a "secret" blog. LOL. But yes, 'someone you trust' but then how do you know to trust them if you don't give them something to prove their trust? Again, it's a gamble.