My cat wakes up from his long, afternoon nap, uses his litter box, wanders downstairs and cries for food, plays with his fake mouse, chases bugs, lies on the arm of the couch watching nothing in particular and then slips back into glorious cat slumber. (Which is obviously glorious, why else would he spend so much time doing it?)
His life has no depth and no meaning. He eats, sleeps, shits and pesters me to scratch his ass. I suppose if he lived in the wild, life would not be so luxurious for him. He would have to hunt for his food, find his own shelter, battle other beasts for the right to live.
One thing my cat has over me is that, despite the fact that his life really is meaningless, he has no qualms about it. I doubt seriously that he has ever wondered if he was pissing everything away by being a lazy ass, litter box patron, who begs for food and never says thank you. Never has the thought entered his mind to give some of his food to the poor starving stray cats that populate the island. I have never seen him crying during one of those sad 'humane society' commercial with the poor abused house cat slide show hosted by Sarah McLachlan.
Never has it crossed his mind that he is mortal and perhaps he should leave some legacy behind so that he won't be forgotten when he is gone. He is completely content that he is fixed and will never know the ecstatic bliss of sexual copulation, or the feel of grass between his toes. (My last cat got out of the house and died a week later of kidney failure. I am over protective I suppose.) No, he just is and he takes advantage of his royal status as the prince of the castle without question or guilt or fear of some unknown future. I envy him.
I'm beginning to wonder if my worst enemy is me and my weapon of war is contemplation of the universe and my place in it and doing so at an unhealthy level. I plan and scheme and dream but in the end there is no result. I forget to step forward, to attack, to commit. Isn't there some wise saying about 'best intentions'? If best intentions were dollar bills I'd be a wealthy man by now. Maybe it goes something like that.
Maybe I should quit trying to try so hard, quit caring to care so much? And just live. Like the cat.