Wednesday, May 27, 2009



We divide and conquer. We eat fruit with the peel and all. We break the mold before there is even one to break. We walk a fine line down a broad path. We say things like, "Tomorrow will be a better day because we're gonna smell great in the morning!" We use a hot iron on our towels and bed sheets. We do not use towels or bed sheets, we are allergic to starch. The toilet is our throne and the bath tub our coffin.

Here we bleed and it is a better place for the bleeding. To take is better than to receive because you can always make amends by returning what you've taken and people say your changing into a better person. If you receive and return people look down on you for not being grateful for the gift they have given you. Honor among thieves has a broader meaning than you once thought.

Fighting amongst inferiors is not appropriate. Fighting amongst superiors is glorified and considered good business. Eat too much and you die. Eat too little and you die. Eat just the right amount and you'll eventually die anyway.

We fight the good fight, not because it is worth fighting, but because there is little else left to fight. We are the cream of the crop but unfortunately the cream is the first thing people eat so our days are numbered. We hate numbering days but find it unavoidable at this junture. We are NOT the alpha and the omega as those letters represent Ass hOle or A-hOle or A-O (don't ask me to explain this further).

In conclusion, we are some mean mofos that you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley on your way to your crochet club with a basket of fresh baked cinnimon rolls.

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